After marriage, in-laws fuel Kashmir woman’s PhD dream
Suhail Khan
TANGMARG, MAY 08: Marriage, for Sumaira Rasool, was not the end of her academic journey but the beginning of a more determined one. Recently awarded a PhD from Rajasthan University, the 30-year-old from Takiya Bhatpora in North Kashmir’s Tangmarg is challenging the entrenched social script that a daughter-in-law’s place is only behind the stove.
“Often after marriage, girls don’t follow their dreams. Circumstances become hurdles. But for me, my in-laws became a source of strength,” Dr. Sumaira told The Web Story/The Varmul Post.
She walked into her matrimonial home with a BSc degree. Since then, she has completed her BEd, MSc, and now a doctorate. “The day of my wedding, my MSc selection came. I was laughing, thinking how to manage this. My first call was to my father. After marriage, it’s a joint decision — your in-laws’ permission matters.”
‘Not just kitchen charge’
In the first two months, she admits, there was hesitation. “I thought, let’s see how to move ahead. But the strength I got from my husband and in-laws — I looked ahead. They gave me freedom, not just kitchen charge.”
She says there were moments she wanted to give up. “Every marriage has normal challenges. Sometimes you feel like quitting. But my family’s support kept me going. Alhamdulillah, today I am glad to say I have completed my doctorate.”
‘Girl’s education lights up a family’
Quoting a popular saying, she asserted, “A girl’s education illuminates the entire family, while a boy only brightens his own. Therefore, educating a daughter means awakening the whole society. However, a girl often lacks backend support, but I was lucky.
“Fathers play a big role in fulfilling their daughter’s dreams. I appeal to every father-in-law — play the same role for your daughter-in-law. After all, she too is a daughter.”
‘PhD not for a job’
Dr. Sumaira said, “I didn’t do a PhD to get a job. It was my dream. Whatever knowledge I have received, I want to utilise it for others.”
She recalls the difficulties she faced. “That is why I have a vision — to guide those who can crack exams, set marks, and make their careers bright. I want to be the reason for someone else’s achievement.”
‘Don’t let your dreams die’
“Don’t let your dreams stop. Follow them, no matter the challenges, no matter the situations. Dreams do come true. Yes, in-laws’ support plays a role. But your own wish matters most. After marriage, responsibilities increase. But that should never become a hurdle in pursuing education. You just need to manage between struggles.”
