By Suhail Khan
The UPSC Civil Services Examination is a dream for many, but for thousands, it becomes an unrelenting trap. Every year, approximately 10 to 12 lakh candidates apply, yet only about 1,000 succeed, resulting in a mere 0.1% selection rate.
Many aspirants dedicate five to seven years—or even longer—to this pursuit. They quit jobs, defer higher education, and put their lives on hold, only to face repeated rejections. Often, they follow this path due to family pressure or societal expectations that glorify the UPSC as the ultimate achievement.
These aspirants spend their prime years—typically their 20s—not building careers or exploring life, but trapped in an endless cycle of coaching classes, study notes, and self-doubt. By the time they give up, many are deemed “overaged” for other competitive exams, while private employers dismiss them for lacking relevant experience.
While the UPSC can transform lives, it also silently destroys many. For some, it becomes a one-way road with no return.
Shamshada’s Story: A Dream That Wasn’t Hers
This is the story of Shamshada, a woman in her 30s from Sopore village. Her father dreamed of her becoming an IAS officer—the ultimate aspiration for the family. Yet, Shamshada had different ambitions. Despite her reluctance, she embarked on this journey to please her family, who saw the UPSC as the pinnacle of prestige.
Her parents envisioned their daughter’s name in the UPSC results, leading Shamshada to suppress her own dreams and begin her preparations.
The First Attempt: Hope and Heartbreak
Her first attempt was filled with excitement and anxiety. She believed she could succeed, but doubts lingered about the exam’s difficulty and the possibility of failure.
For an entire year, Shamshada dedicated herself to her family’s dream. Her father supported her financially and emotionally, leaving no stone unturned. Yet, despite her relentless efforts, she failed.
The Second Attempt: Another Battle, Another Loss
Encouraged by her family to try again, Shamshada prepared for a second attempt. However, turmoil in Kashmir disrupted her studies, prompting her parents to send her to Jammu for a more conducive environment.
She worked harder than ever, sacrificing sleep, social life, and peace of mind. Yet once again, success eluded her.
She spent months in isolation, grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. For many aspirants, failing this exam is not just about a test—it encompasses deep personal feelings tied to family expectations and years of preparation.
What happens to those, like Shamshada, who never succeed? How do they navigate the emotional maze of setbacks, self-doubt, and lost opportunities?
With each failure, Shamshada felt her family’s dreams crumble. She lost precious years that could have been spent pursuing her own ambitions. Depression set in, and guilt consumed her for failing to meet her parents’ expectations.
Eventually, her parents urged her to move on. Broken but resigned, she pursued further education, yet she remained haunted by what could have been.
After completing her education, Shamshada sought employment—any job—to keep herself occupied. Her father ensured she lacked nothing despite financial constraints.
Yet, even in the private sector, she struggled to make ends meet. At this crossroads, she questions whether she will ever see a brighter future.
Even today, when UPSC results are announced, she relives her past disappointments. She struggles to face her father without guilt. Despite failed attempts and health struggles, she refuses to surrender completely.
Unlike many who give up after one setback, Shamshada persisted. Her journey reflects the struggles of countless individuals crushed under societal pressures and familial expectations.
Failure in the UPSC is not just a professional setback—it is deeply personal. Many candidates sacrifice their social lives, careers, and health. The emotional aftermath can be devastating, with depression, insomnia, and isolation frequently reported.
These experiences highlight the intense psychological pressure faced by aspirants and underscore the need for a strong support system.
This is a plea to every parent: Don’t let your dreams overshadow your child’s. Let them live their own life, chase their own aspirations. Stand by them, not over them. Because in the end, a child’s happiness should matter more than any prestige.
The UPSC remains one of India’s toughest exams—a crucible where, out of over a million aspirants, only about a thousand succeed. For many, like Shamshada, the journey ends without a selection letter.
And The pressing question remains when will we stop measuring worth based on an examination?????
Author: Suhail Khan is a storyteller and journalist. He can be reached at khansuhail309@gmail.com.
